Op-Ed: Nasty Woman: Why This Republican is Swiping Left on Trump

Credit: GOP4HRC

Written by Cristina Stiller

Believe you me, it is a lonely road being a Republican at NYU Law.

There’s this party game—it’s like truth or dare, but without the dare—where a group of friends can ask you anything for two minutes and you have to answer every question truthfully. As you can imagine, the game almost immediately devolves into a series of increasingly intimate questions about your sex life. But when my friends found out I was a Republican? Well apparently, that’s even kinkier than that one time you tried a butt plug and liked it.

For two minutes, my friends drilled me on the intricacies of my political beliefs. Here’s the TL;DR results of that endeavor: I’m a fiscal Republican, in the purest sense of the word. I’m a big fan of keeping the federal government (and the states) out of my bed and out of my womb. And I fully support policies that ensure they stay out of everyone else’s as well. You could say I lean Libertarian (although I know where Aleppo is—shocking, but true). But I keep my Republican registration card because, well, primaries are a thing.

There aren’t many of us roaming the fabled halls of this venerated institution. But for those of you who want hard, quantitative facts, let me give you a totally statistically relevant, not-at-all anecdotal idea of the ratios we’re dealing with. Last year, Professor Nelson asked the roughly 100 kids in my Property class, “How many of you are Conservatives?” I was the only person to raise my hand. You can’t argue with the facts, people.

Now, maybe there were one or two closeted Republicans lurking in the back row. Or maybe, everyone knew that whoever raised their hand would be required to have their ass in the chair for the remainder of the semester, never to skip again, if only to defend the faith. But whatever the case, the number of us who would actually dare to mutter those three dirty words, “I’m a Republican,” are thin on the ground.

And this was all well before my party decided that now was as good a year as any to totally and completely botch the presidential election.

So let me tell you a little bit about my party’s candidate. He wants to ban me. If he can’t get away with that, he at least wants to register me. He’s probably not a big fan of my Hispanic mom. He’s certainly not a fan of the fact that we speak Spanish in these United States of America. Oh yeah, and he wants to grab my…

I’d comment on his fiscal policies, but to be honest I’m not really sure he has any. Before law school, I worked as the Communications Director of a hotly contested Congressional (yes Republican) campaign, so I like to consider myself generally abreast of these sorts of things. But when you pick through the “I’m very, very rich,” it’s hard to find much policy left.

Heck, I’d even comment on his social policies. But given that the Liberal Media and Crooked Hillary apparently keep twisting everything the Donald says—even if he’s said it on tape, because how reliable can that be, am I right?—well, it’s even hard to put a finger on what those social policies might be.

So while it’s safe to say that we don’t really know what my party’s candidate actually believes, what I do know is this: there is no choice to be made here. This is not a case of the lesser of two evils. Do I love Hillary Clinton? No. Am I chiming into the endless siren song of #imwithher that has overtaken each and every one of your NYU Law friends’ Facebook feeds? Hardly.

But I value living in a country where I’m represented by someone who is smarter than me; not someone who just says they’re smarter than me. I value living in a country where the person I nominate for president is someone who is intensely qualified for the job, even if she doesn’t agree with everything I believe. I value living in a country where I will be represented by someone who will fight to ensure that the freedoms I enjoy today will still be here come November 9th; not someone who will endeavor, as a matter of great pride, to set the clock back 50 years.

So let me be the first to say: my party fucked up. Royally. We’ve made a mockery of this election; we’ve made a mockery of this country. We have paraded a racist, bigoted, womanizing Oompa Loompa in front of televisions and newspaper reporters worldwide and we have said, “Look world: this is who we are and this is what we have become.”

But this is not who I am. And this is not what we have to become. That’s why I’m proudly supporting Hillary Clinton this election. She’s got my woman’s vote. She’s got my Muslim vote. She’s got my Latina vote. And she’s got my Republican vote.